Honor Above Self

It is challenging to articulate feelings we have about things in life that are important to us. Sometimes 'thank you' just does not seem like enough, 'I love you' seems inadequate to express the depth of emotion we feel. Our actions better express our feelings than our words. When we have loved ones who are hurting we ache with the need to do something.  We are diligent to pray and if only there was some practical way we could express our love and concern we would do it! The same is true on the other end of the spectrum. This is equally true in how we express our apathy and disrespect. We have all seen young people sitting in a classroom or in church slouching as if they do not have strength to hold their head up. We have spoken to others who barely grunt a verbal response, and the pants worn around the hips with underwear hanging out. Thinking about these types of behaviors, it is hard to know how to instruct, or even more, WHY to instruct against these behaviors. It is so prevalent to ignore these under currants of insolence in our children as well as in our own hearts.  The Bible does not address these specific nuances but it has a lot to say about honor. It is a lost virtue in our society today. We live in a culture that devalues the accomplished. Honoring and valuing others has been turned on its head. We are told from the time we are children, no one is better than us. It is done many times in a way that is translated, we do not have to respect authority. Just a minor change to the wording makes all the difference. Instead of, 'no one is better than us,' should it not be 'we are better than no one?' See how the idea of equality is the same but the perspective turns the whole idea upside down.

We are to honor others not just with what we say but even more with our actions. Research shows only 7% of communication is the words we say and 93% is our body language and our tone of voice.  Honor is not something we can pretend to have. As my husband has said so often, "you can't fake sincerity." Honor is a matter of the heart and we cannot help but express it, or express the absence of it. "As in water, face reflects face, So a man’s heart reveals the man." Proverbs 27:19. Honoring others as created by God for a purpose just as important as our own purpose is expressing the love of Christ to others even if they do not know Him. As we move closer to Christ our goal is to be more like Him. Christ considered all others over His own desires. "Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others." Philippians 2:3-4. We have a hard time even putting people we love ahead of ourselves. And Christ put the needs of those who despised and rejected Him above Himself. We are called to love our enemies. “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy. 'But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you," Matthew 5:43-44. This is one way children of God can stand out as true examples fording a path straight to the cross. Express genuine value for others. Esteem them higher than ourselves and this is achieved in us by exhibiting genuine humility. We teach it to our children by modeling it in front of them. "And we urge you, brethren, to recognize those who labor among you, and are over you in the Lord and admonish you, and to esteem them very highly in love for their work’s sake. Be at peace among yourselves. Now we exhort you, brethren, warn those who are unruly, comfort the fainthearted, uphold the weak, be patient with all." 1 Thessalonians 5:12-14. We are failing to teach honor by not honoring others; we do not feel in our hearts, 'I am no better than you,' and are too quick to think, 'you are no better than me.' Explanations for disrespectful behavior are justified by excuses like: it is just society today, it is just the style, we must not be judgemental, and so on.  

We are living in a time when nothing virtuous is honored. Fame, money, indulgence, prideful lovers of self, and vanity are celebrated. Humility, meekness, purity, restraint, and submission are ridiculed. It is so offensive to our spirits in a slouching, non-responsive society. It is void of honor exhibited to others. It silently conveys a lack of value or respect that barely tolerates being inconvenienced. It evokes an air of superiority and is condescending to the recipient. This attitude is the opposite of the message we receive from God's word. "You shall rise before the gray headed and honor the presence of an old man, and fear your God: I am the Lord." Leviticus 19:32. The heart capable of doing this is humble and reverent. We even have a promise from God bestowed on us when we are reverent. "Happy is the man who is always reverent, But he who hardens his heart will fall into calamity." Proverbs 28:14. We must not shrink from teaching our children to honor and value others above themselves but also search our own heart to see to what degree we esteem others higher than ourselves.  It is a matter of pride. C.S. Lewis tells us in his book, Mere Christianity, he considers pride to be the greatest of all sin:

 

There is one vice of which no man in the world is free; which everyone loathes when he sees it in someone else; and of which hardly any people, except  Christians, ever imagine that they are guilty themselves. I have heard people admit that they are bad-tempered, or that they cannot keep their heads about girls or drink, or even that they are cowards. I do not think I have ever heard anyone who was not a Christian accuse himself of this vice. And at the same time I have very seldom met anyone, who was not a Christian, who showed the slightest mercy to it in others. There is no fault that makes a man more unpopular, and no fault which we are more unconscious of in ourselves. And the more we have it ourselves, the more we dislike it in others. The vice I am talking of is Pride or Self-Conceit: and the virtue opposite to it, in Christian morals, is called Humility. You may remember, . . . According to Christian teachers, the essential vice, the utmost evil, is Pride. Unchastity, anger, greed, drunkenness, and all that, are mere fleabites in comparison: it was through Pride that the devil became the devil: Pride leads to every other vice: it is the complete anti-God state of mind.

Humility and honor are not virtues that we come by easily. I would argue they are the most challenging to master. It is seldom exemplified even in church leadership. This practice is not for the novice Christian and is evidence of moving closer to Christ. It is accomplished by the emptying of ourselves and dedicating ourselves to Him. It is deciding by the super natural ability of Christ in us to let Him be our example and honor that which HE honored above all else, the value of the human soul existing in others and personify that honor in our own lives. Honor, humility, and respect, are character traits vital to setting ourselves apart from society in order to live holy lives for Christ. Without Him they are impossible to achieve.