Lead your family, guest post by Kevin Triplett

Men are wired differently than women. We just are. We look at things differently; handle them differently. The outcome affects us differently. God makes us that way. We all have different skill sets to be used to work together.

Men, usually at least, want to be leaders. We want recognition, to be named head of this project or director of that initiative. We want promotions and raises to validate our work. It proves our worth. Right?

Then, here is the question of the day for my fellow men. Why does that same desire to lead at work not translate to the home? Why do we not have the same drive for being project manager of the household?

When we work, we are to work diligently. Paul tells us in Second Thessalonians those who do not work do not eat. But so often, that title, that rank, that company car and employee-of-the-month plaque are allowed in our hearts to serve as the steps in establishing our identity. Often, we work so hard during the day, when we get home we do not want to be bothered with anything. We’re tired. We have had a long day on the job and work time is over. Right?

So many of us get so caught up in our “jobs,” the stress and strain of being a leader to our fellow employees, we want none of it at home. That is the wife’s job anyway, right? Wrong.

Paul also tells us in First Timothy we are to provide for our households. That means so much more than just financial assistance.

Call it what you want: Head of the Household; King of the Castle; Lord of the Land or Man of the Manor. But often, we do not want everything that comes with that title. We just want to be fed grapes and cooled with palm fronds. Leave the heavy lifting to someone else. We even have scripture to support it.

Most of us can quote, sometimes even with semi-accuracy, the passages about wives submitting to their husbands. We may not even know the proper book in the Bible, much less chapter and verse. But by-doggies we know it is in there don’t we? (Ephesians 5 and 1 Peter 3, for the record).  We know there are “instructions” for our wives to “submit” (Ephesians) or “be submissive” (1 Peter). True enough. It is in there. More than once.

But just like those projects at work where we fail as leaders by not seeing things through to the end, this is where we fail as leaders at home; where we either conveniently forget the remaining directives or just never bother to learn them.

Read a couple of verses further in Ephesians and we find we are to love our wives as “Christ also loved the church.” In 1 Peter, we are to “Dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife.”  In other words, we are to encourage; to lift up. That’s what we do at work, do we not? We want our fellow co-workers or employees to produce a better product, created by a better work environment. Then why not create a better product at home with a better environment? We have that responsibility after all.

“The righteous man walks in his integrity; his children are blessed after him.” (Proverbs 20:7)

If we are concerned about the influences of this world on our children, be a bigger inspiration at home. Be a LEADER.  Do not be a boss. A boss tells people what to do. Leaders train them to succeed and are there with them along the way.

Will we succeed every time? I answer that this way.

Ted Williams, in my opinion, was the greatest hitter in the history of the game of baseball. He hit a home run in his last career at bat and was the last player to hit above .400 for a season. And that was more than 80 years ago. He did not get a hit every time. In fact, four out of 10 classifies him as one of the greatest ever. Four out of 10. But he stepped up there every time and tried to get a hit.

It is daunting. Some of the greatest leaders in the Bible were some of the worst spouses and parents. Usually, it was because they took their eye off the ball. They did not place proper trust in God to help them with the task and they paid for it. Dearly.

Too many times, as leaders of our families, we may believe fastballs  come too hard or the curveball breaks too much. Sometimes, not only do we not get a hit, we decide it is useless so we choose to not take our turn in the batter’s box.

We fail all who rely on us if we do not step up to the plate and swing.

No pitch is too hard to hit if we leave it up to God. The greatest role as project manager we have as men is at home. Be a leader. It fulfills our obligation and the rewards are much greater than an employee-of-the-month plaque.

There is more to being thankful.

With all the proclamations of thanksgiving this week, I wanted to come at this from a different angle. Like most people, I have thought a lot about for what I am truly grateful. I came up with the big things quickly, my salvation provided by Christ Jesus, my wonderful, protective husband, my beautiful, healthy children, my parents who taught me about Christ and have always shown me unconditional love, our farm, our animals, on and on. Then, I thought about the things that make my life more pleasant, or just a little easier. I thought about the green grass in the spring, which means not having to pay for or feed our livestock daily. The fresh eggs our chickens lay every day. And as I am enjoying it right now, the crackling fireplace which provides heat economically for our home. 

So, what does it mean to be truly grateful? Webster's Dictionary defines grateful as follows: a : appreciative of benefits received, b : expressing gratitude. If we are genuinely thankful for the blessings in our life, how do we express it? As parents we try to teach our children how to be appropriately appreciative for things they are given. "Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, And into His courts with praise. Be thankful to Him, and bless His name." Psalm 100:4. When we are truly thankful, there is an expression of that thankfulness, otherwise our great Thanksgiving proclamations are only lip service. "But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection, and let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful." Colossians 3:14-15. 

There is a level of indebtedness involved with being truly grateful. When we walk the path that brings us to an intimate relationship with Christ we become more keenly aware that He is source of all that is good in our lives. We all know it but by communing with Him, his benevolence becomes much clearer. "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning." James 1:17. This means all the little things on my grateful list, along with the things which come from friends, family, and even acquaintances are initiated with Christ. Then there are those times when we are completely unaware of His provision. Those are the multitude of unknown blessings we won't know about this side of Heaven. 

We must be compelled to make sure that we at least attempt to show proper recognition and appreciation to the God of all creation for our 'every good and perfect gift.' We never will be able to appropriately show our gratitude but we should spend our lives trying. Much like the point made in an earlier blog, if we love Christ there will be evidence of that in our lives. If we are truly thankful this Thanksgiving there are actions which testify to that fact. Words are easy. The message, growing closer to Christ, takes work and sacrifice on our part part. We are bought with a price and there are expectations placed upon us. Join me this week in taking inventory of our blessings, but even more importantly take inventory of how we show our gratitude. 

No place for fear

I must admit, I have lived a very blessed life. I am 42 years old, both of my parents are still living. I have been married only once for almost 20 years. Both of our children are healthy and happy. Kevin and I have yet to face any significant health issues. I am very thankful for all of these things and many more to list here. (and this isn't even my "thankful" blog entry that will go up later this week) This life has not, by any means, been without trials, however. Some of which have been of significant proportion. We faced decisions that could have brought financial devastation. We have been betrayed by dear friends.  Fears of all types invade our lives.

There was a time I even feared for my safety. It was when we lived in Florida, Kevin had a job which had him out of the state about 200 nights a year. I was more than 600 miles away from any family and was only about 23 years old. There had been a rash of break-ins on our street and the burglars were even bold enough to break in while my neighbors were sleeping. One night, sirens blaring, officers were swarming our street yelling back and forth to each other. I was terrified, literally, for some time. Fear is paralyzingly. It consumes our thoughts, empairs our judgement, and can even affect our health. I am here to tell you, my dear friend, as children of God, fear has no place in our lives. We have believed the lie that society, and even the church, has told us that fear is normal, accepted, and even justified in some circumstances. Not true for the child of God. I want you to hear me, this is a huge fallacy. Christ's protection over lives and our hearts is not circumstantial. "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. Philippians 4:6. We are to be anxious "for nothing." This is God's word. Do you believe it? Or are your thoughts going to that place of, "but this is too big, it hurts too bad, I just can't help it, or the results are too devastating for it to be that simple." Well, it's not simple. Your child may have cancer and, as a mother, I cannot even allow my mind to go there. So I am not telling you I know how you feel because that would be a lie as well as insulting. What I am telling you is that I know God's word is true down to the very last letter.

The very next verse is a promise of what will happen when we are faithful and diligent to the instructions in Philippians 4:6.  "And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:7. We sometimes think that our fear is too big and for someone not in Christ that is true. But as a child of God we have the power of the living God in us. The peace of God DOES pass all understanding and just because we do not, in our finite minds, understand it does not diminish Christ's ability. We must even at times, moment by moment, with the mental strength of the warriors we are, refuse to accept fear and allow it to dwell in our minds. We must also expect the supernatural intervention of Christ by acknowledging his power IN US, because it is just that, supernatural." For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ," 2 Corinthians 10:4-5. When those paralyzing thoughts come into our minds we must not let them live there. Our refusal to dwell on the magnitude of our situation must be replaced by dwelling on the enormity of our God.

I know there are terrifying, unspeakable things we must face in this life. And I am not suggesting that nothing painful will happen to us if we are faithful in prayer and supplication. There may times we endure great pain, but pain does not have to involve fear. I know Christ Jesus is more than capable of performing the supernatural in our lives. We have been deceived into believing that some situations are just too scary. My dear friend, that is a lie. Don't take my word for it. Be the Christian who believes Christ is actually who He says He is, and is capable of doing everything He says He can do. It will take us closer to Christ.

What are we worth?

 

I feel like we have skipped Autumn and jumped head first right into Winter! The high here in northeast Tennessee yesterday was a whopping 28 degrees.  We have pulled out the coveralls and insulated boots for our farm chores but are enjoying this season when so many things go to sleep. God in his wisdom has the sap run from the trees to preserve them for next year. The plants whither and die to drop their seeds to spring forth when the ground warms next year. "Most assuredly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it produces much grain." John 12:24

 

Christ is speaking of His death and the necessity of it in order to bring life, eternal life. What truth this speaks about our own lives as well! Like seeds we must die in order to bring life. For as seeds, before our redemption we are dead. "And you, being dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, He has made alive together with Him, having forgiven you all trespasses," Colossians 2:13. "As I have explained on our website, closertochrist.today, our salvation is a free gift, we can do nothing to achieve it or earn it. We are also completely undeserving of redemption.

 

I cannot stand the word deserve. Society is constantly telling us what we deserve: We deserve a promotion, a new car, to be treated better, a big house, this new outfit. We deserve some pampering, a manicure and a pedicure, some time to ourselves, and on and on and on. There is nothing we deserve other than to spend eternity in hell. We do not deserve God's grace which goes against the definition of grace itself. If we deserved it would not be grace. "But we are all like an unclean thing, And all our righteousnesses are like filthy rags; We all fade as a leaf, And our iniquities, like the wind, Have taken us away." Isaiah 64:6. For us to tell ourselves or even our children how exceptional we are is contrary to God's word. It teaches pride of self and value over others. When our worth is no greater and yet no less than any other soul for which Christ gave His life, and certainly not deserving.

 

Society deceives us into thinking we have tremendous value. The only value we have is in Christ Jesus. Taking pride in ourselves is to rob Christ of the work He has done in us. We are nothing and yet we are redeemed by the blood of Christ for His glory. It is even prevalent in our churches that some are valued as greater than others, when Christ in us that is the only value we have. To embrace the magnitude of what this means is to absorb down to our very soul what Christ did for us. "For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him." 2 Corinthians 5:21. When we know Christ in His glory and begin to ruminate on what He gave up for us, who have no righteousness, we begin to move closer to Christ. We also see the value that others have. It is through Christ that our value comes, and is distributed equally among us. "Then Peter opened his mouth and said: “In truth I perceive that God shows no partiality." Acts 10:34.

 

Our redemption price is where our value is determined. We have been redeemed by the blood of Christ and His death on the cross which makes our value priceless. Just like any exquisite relic, the price is determined by what the market is willing to pay. By the creator of the universe, leaving his position of authority in glory, to endure separation from God, become our sin, and die to redeem us, that makes us the most valued commodity in the history of the world. Did we deserve it? No. But it makes our value beyond measure. Our death to ourselves and then life determined by His purpose is to what we are called. We have to stop looking at life by what we want, should have, or what society tells us we should demand. Like a seed, we must die to bring forth life. "And whoever does not bear his cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple." Luke 14:27. Visualize what this means. Christ is speaking and He does not mean that we are to inconvenienced for His sake. The cross is how He knew He was going to die. No one else knew that, but He did! He was commanding that we die to ourselves. When we think about what he gave up for us, what will we give up for Him? He commands that it be everything.

 

So, to answer the question, "What are we worth?" We are worth nothing and yet we are worth everything.



Go team!

My daughter is a tiny little sprite of a person. With fiery red hair, and a passion to find her place, she has participated in many different activities to explore her skills and feel a part of something. First it was ballet, then soccer, horseback riding, and on and on. None of them were activities in which she excelled. They were somewhat enjoyable but not things she wanted to pursue. Then, a couple of years ago, she tried gymnastics. She advanced quickly through the skills, and was interested in trying out for the competitive team. We considered all the options. After learning this required a very sizeable financial commitment, an even bigger time commitment, and she would be half naked in her uniform, we knew this was not going to work for our family. You see, my daughter has given her life to Christ and, just like any of us who have truly done that, her life is not her own anymore. This was a tough one, but the true ways to learn the meaning of sacrifice are painful.

Our lives are not to be eaten up with stuff that has no eternal purpose. Yes, that even means our children. Our family does fun things and tries to stay active to keep our bodies healthy. Our son has landed on basketball as his activity of choice. It is for a season. Our lives are filled with seasons. But no season should be void of devotion to Christ. We take breaks from school, from sports,  and work. Sometimes we may even need a break from a specific calling to serve the Lord, or may know the season for that calling is complete. This blog is about drawing closer to Christ and nowhere in scripture does it tell us to take a vacation from Him. It has become a pandemic in the church. The symptoms are mild at first. Then they become more severe and begin to impair the judgment. Soon, the fever of apathy overwhelms the entire central nervous system. Finally, if not seen by "The Great Physician," total disregard of Christ sets in. This results in an extremely high spiritual mortality rate in our children. The disease is called idolatry and it exists in varying degrees of severity all throughout the church.

We tell ourselves when we commit to be on a team or participate in an activity, it is not right to miss practice or games. We have to be dedicated. And if it is something in which we decide to participate, we should be dedicated. What needs to be determined is if the level of commitment required to participate is prudent. As Christians, we are to above all else love the Lord "with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind." Matthew 22:37 Jesus himself said this is the most important thing we need to do. Number one on the list! Dedicated to the team?!? What happened to our dedication to Christ? I am NOT saying that children should not participate in activities. Our children have gleaned great life lessons from being involved in various sports and pursuits. We must, however, guard against the activities taking a idolatrous position in our lives. I have heard it said by some who consistently miss church for sporting activities year around, that "the ball field is my mission field." This is a very slippery slope. How can a life of choosing sports activities over the mission work taking place in a vibrant church, as well as fellowshipping and worshiping with fellow believers be an example to others of loving the Lord [and everything He is about] with all your heart, soul, and mind?

Idolatry is a pervasive problem throughout the church and the consequences are profound. "Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God." 1 Corinthians 6:9-11. Look at the list of sins with which idolatry is associated and this a pretty firm warning. Are we people who "such were some of you?" Or are we still idolaters? If there is anything in our lives that we would not give up for Christ it is an idol. If we have been sanctified, the first on the list is Christ and everything else should find what ever time is leftover.

 

We are to be about the work of God and the advancement of His kingdom every day, in our actions as well as our thoughts. We are to encourage each other and be steadfast in our commitment to Christ first, and to our fellow believers second. There are, today, children of God who sacrifice everything, including their life here on this earth, to advance God's kingdom and be a part of His work, while gathered with others of His church. "And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching." Hebrews 10:24-25 How are we to "stir up love and good works" with people we never see? To love Christ is to also love the body of Christ and be about His work.

 

Lastly, my daughter was disappointed by the decision we made not to delve deeper and make a bigger commitment to gymnastics. Disappointing our kids is not something that Kevin and I relish. It is painful at times. I would like to be able to say that her response was to smile and say, "I will gladly serve the Lord," but it was not. She does not even realize, but it has freed her to be able to serve the Lord and touch lives in concrete ways she could never have with so much of her schedule taken up for her amusement. And that makes even the disappointment worth it, for her to be a tool in the master's hand. It has brought her one more step closer to Christ.

Myth Buster part 3

This may be the most important of the points in the Myth Buster series. The first point blows up the theory that Christians are supposed to sit quietly with their hands in their laps while timidly offering encouraging words to those who need it. That is not the how we are to demonstrate a "gentle and meek spirit." Let a college student who has just witnessed our God and creator be degraded and disrespected, who rightfully becomes enraged, try to navigate those waters while trying to hold true to that misunderstood meaning. The second point explains, even though "quiet spirit" does not mean you cannot express yourself, it is imperative that the words we use are edifying and carefully selected by the holy spirit in every situation. There are situations where it is justified and even called for, to rebuke, exhort, or even be angry. But there is never situational justification for us to sin. I am not saying we will never sin. I AM saying situations never make it justified. Words are too powerful to not be chosen with the upmost caution.

Our third point is offensive and challenging. It can be misunderstood and confused and I suspect most of us have this as a common sin in our heart and we do not even know it is there and, in turn, it interferes with our relationship with Christ. It is practiced by most Christians, myself included, and is, or at least can be, as devastating as adultery, thievery, or drunkenness. You may be thinking, "What in the world could I do that would be that devastating?!?!" The answer is gossip.

Scripture is very clear on the power of words. And most people including myself have deceived ourselves into believing, "that wasn't gossip." The true definition of a gentle and quiet spirit is to be self-controlled and content, for our heart to be set on Christ and not be easily lured into drama and strife, to live peaceably. "Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer." Psalm 19:14. When we are angry, hurt, or frustrated it is so easy to spout off about how we have been wronged. We live in a society in which we would much rather discuss any grievance with the entire community instead of the person by whom we were hurt. Why is that?!?! My friend, please hear what I have to say, if you are unwilling to address the issue with the person or people involved first, you must not speak of it with someone else. This goes directly to the point that our behavior must not be determined by circumstances.  “Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother." Matthew 18:15. God wants us to resolve our issues especially with our brothers and sisters in Christ so we can have unity in our hearts. "Behold how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity." Psalm 133:1  

We must forgive. It is our commission as children of God. His law is not given to us to require us to do seemingly insurmountable tasks. It is out of God's great love for us that EVERY law was written. He wants what is best for us in every situation and He knows that for us to harbor unforgiveness in our hearts is harmful to US. To gossip about our hurts and sorrow causes strife and multiplies the offense in our own heart and causes others who love us to hurt as well. How many times I have been hurt by a misunderstanding, or I assumed a motive that was inaccurate, shared the incident with a friend, only to be madder when I was finished than when I started, AND so was my friend! That's not godly.

We are to love each other enough to try to resolve issues with our brothers and sisters in Christ. If this is attempted without success we must seek godly counsel from someone who will be impartial, not someone who will just climb in the boat with us and our hurt feelings and row us down the river of resentment. There is more about this process in the eighteenth chapter of Matthew. When we have hard feelings in our heart toward anyone who is in the body of Christ it separates us from God. This blog is about the tools it takes to grow Closer to Christ. This is a biggie! It is overlooked because we are not comfortable talking about our own sin. That's not fun! We would much rather discuss the sins of other people! When it comes to us, we want to stick to talking about those sins we would NEVER commit. It is time we look at ourselves. The road Closer to Christ is our own road and our own journey for us to take or not. A true gentle and quiet spirit is evidence of a position close to Christ. And it is visible to others. Do we have it? If we don't, taming the tongue and healing relationships is a perfect place to start because out of our true love and devotion for Christ flows true heartfelt love for others.

If anyone among you thinks he is religious, and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this one’s religion is useless. James 1:26

 

 

 

Myth Buster part 2

While writing my perspective of what it means to portray a meek and quiet spirit I knew there was more to this topic than I could cover in one post. As I said previously, the scripture in 1 Peter is referencing how we are to present ourselves to others. The goal is for people to see our heart. Everything about us, our appearance, demeanor, countenance and every word we say, should be glorifying to Christ. The closer we are to Christ the more we reflect Him to a lost world or even to a struggling Christian.
 
We must not attempt to fabricate a righteous and pious attitude. That is why our heart must be pure; it is to be strong, content, and steadfast. This is accomplished by training our minds with the discipline of a warrior. And the training of the mind is the only way to accomplish the training of the tongue. I have and continue to struggle in this area of my life. I shared in my last post that I am very verbal. My mouth gets away from me sometimes. Words are a wellspring of life as well as a slow consuming pit that devours while they anesthetize our sensitivity to the Spirit. "In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, But he who restrains his lips is wise." Proverbs 10:19. Anything other than Christ that is allowed to have free reign in our lives will bring about sin. We are to be self controlled. Scripture lists self control as one of the fruits of the Spirit we acquire when Christ takes residence in our life.

Words have unequaled ability to bring about death and destruction. They can destroy families and crush the spirit. They can bring about fear and steal joy. "When Saul and all Israel heard these words of the Philistine, they were dismayed and greatly afraid." 1 Samuel 17:11. They can deceive many and be a pitfall. "Now this I say lest anyone should deceive you with persuasive words." Colossians 2:4 And Job even cries out in despair over the words that have crushed him. “How long will you torment my soul, And break me in pieces with words?" Job 19:2.

But just as much as words can destroy, they also have the unfathomable power to give life. "But Simon Peter answered Him [Jesus], “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life." John 6:68. The words we speak can bring healing. "Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, Sweetness to the soul and health to the bones." Proverbs 16:24. They encourage, and lift up. "How sweet are Your words to my taste, Sweeter than honey to my mouth!" Psalm 119:103. When Eliphaz spoke to Job he reminded him of the wonderful things Job had done to strengthen others with his words. "Your words have upheld him who was stumbling, And you have strengthened the feeble knees;" Job 4:4.  And words also bring salvation, "who will tell you words by which you and all your household will be saved." Acts 11:14

Taking every thought captive is particularly challenging for me, someone who legitimately struggles with ADD. However, our thoughts, and what springs from those thoughts, our words, are an integral part of drawing closer to Christ. We cannot control our tongue the way Christ wants us to no matter how badly WE want to. There will be more about that in the third part of this message. If we are dwelling on Christ in everyway we will have edifying words that encourage, lift up, and give life. Growing closer to Christ is crucial. We must let go of our own desires and disappear into a picture of Christ. When He is our passion and our greatest joy and adored above everything else and our minds are fixed on Him, the words that come from us will be glorifying to Him. And we will present ourselves to others with a genuine meek and quiet spirit.