Lead your family, guest post by Kevin Triplett

Men are wired differently than women. We just are. We look at things differently; handle them differently. The outcome affects us differently. God makes us that way. We all have different skill sets to be used to work together.

Men, usually at least, want to be leaders. We want recognition, to be named head of this project or director of that initiative. We want promotions and raises to validate our work. It proves our worth. Right?

Then, here is the question of the day for my fellow men. Why does that same desire to lead at work not translate to the home? Why do we not have the same drive for being project manager of the household?

When we work, we are to work diligently. Paul tells us in Second Thessalonians those who do not work do not eat. But so often, that title, that rank, that company car and employee-of-the-month plaque are allowed in our hearts to serve as the steps in establishing our identity. Often, we work so hard during the day, when we get home we do not want to be bothered with anything. We’re tired. We have had a long day on the job and work time is over. Right?

So many of us get so caught up in our “jobs,” the stress and strain of being a leader to our fellow employees, we want none of it at home. That is the wife’s job anyway, right? Wrong.

Paul also tells us in First Timothy we are to provide for our households. That means so much more than just financial assistance.

Call it what you want: Head of the Household; King of the Castle; Lord of the Land or Man of the Manor. But often, we do not want everything that comes with that title. We just want to be fed grapes and cooled with palm fronds. Leave the heavy lifting to someone else. We even have scripture to support it.

Most of us can quote, sometimes even with semi-accuracy, the passages about wives submitting to their husbands. We may not even know the proper book in the Bible, much less chapter and verse. But by-doggies we know it is in there don’t we? (Ephesians 5 and 1 Peter 3, for the record).  We know there are “instructions” for our wives to “submit” (Ephesians) or “be submissive” (1 Peter). True enough. It is in there. More than once.

But just like those projects at work where we fail as leaders by not seeing things through to the end, this is where we fail as leaders at home; where we either conveniently forget the remaining directives or just never bother to learn them.

Read a couple of verses further in Ephesians and we find we are to love our wives as “Christ also loved the church.” In 1 Peter, we are to “Dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife.”  In other words, we are to encourage; to lift up. That’s what we do at work, do we not? We want our fellow co-workers or employees to produce a better product, created by a better work environment. Then why not create a better product at home with a better environment? We have that responsibility after all.

“The righteous man walks in his integrity; his children are blessed after him.” (Proverbs 20:7)

If we are concerned about the influences of this world on our children, be a bigger inspiration at home. Be a LEADER.  Do not be a boss. A boss tells people what to do. Leaders train them to succeed and are there with them along the way.

Will we succeed every time? I answer that this way.

Ted Williams, in my opinion, was the greatest hitter in the history of the game of baseball. He hit a home run in his last career at bat and was the last player to hit above .400 for a season. And that was more than 80 years ago. He did not get a hit every time. In fact, four out of 10 classifies him as one of the greatest ever. Four out of 10. But he stepped up there every time and tried to get a hit.

It is daunting. Some of the greatest leaders in the Bible were some of the worst spouses and parents. Usually, it was because they took their eye off the ball. They did not place proper trust in God to help them with the task and they paid for it. Dearly.

Too many times, as leaders of our families, we may believe fastballs  come too hard or the curveball breaks too much. Sometimes, not only do we not get a hit, we decide it is useless so we choose to not take our turn in the batter’s box.

We fail all who rely on us if we do not step up to the plate and swing.

No pitch is too hard to hit if we leave it up to God. The greatest role as project manager we have as men is at home. Be a leader. It fulfills our obligation and the rewards are much greater than an employee-of-the-month plaque.