It's a Boy!

Those three amazing words, whether it's a boy or a girl, are celebrated by parents. We wait with eager anticipation to find out the gender of our child. Both genders bring a unique set of joys as well as concerns. Kevin and I chose to wait until the birth to find out the gender of our children. A very wise older woman once told me that the sex of your child is the last of life's true surprises. Most of the nursing staff in the delivery department was huddled in my room eagerly anticipating the big reveal! When my nurse got out one of each of the tiny little hats, one pink and one blue, she giddily said "We hardly ever get to see the surprise of the sex. It's so exciting!" It struck me funny that people who see deliveries every day are still captivated by the proclamation of the gender of a brand new little person. Could it be because it really does matter? Maybe a person's gender does say a lot about who they are. We live in a society that is trying continually to blur the lines of gender and sexuality when we should be celebrating them! In a recent news story, (I forget about what) the journalist stated that we need to create a unisex society for the purpose of equality. This breaks my heart for so many reasons.

God created two specific and unique sexes for the human race, and they each have very specific strengths and weaknesses. There are characteristics that can be attributed to each one. . .most of the time. Stereotypes are hard. Sometimes people don't cooperate with what our expectations are. Sometimes men are sensitive, caring, and emotional. And there are women who are forceful, strong, and independent. What do we do with that?  God created each of us with a unique beautiful personality. Me for example. As a child, I wondered briefly about my sexuality. Well, I was too young for it to be directly related to my sexuality. I wondered about why I was a girl. I have always been fairly strong, "for a girl." In fourth grade I won the arm wrestling contest for my class at the school fair. I played sports, have a strong personality, am not very emotional, can figure out how to fix most things, and struggle with being merciful. God put me together perfectly for the life He had laid out for me before I was born. He knew I would be married to a man who He would have travelling all over creation. He also knew we would be stewards of a farm that would require a lot of elbow grease to maintain. I am not a girly girl, but make no mistake. I am a girl. And I am so grateful for that.

There is great confusion in society about sexuality, gender identity, family roles, and the value of the mother/father and husband/wife positions. We are confusing God's plan with our desires. This message is for Christians who struggle with these issues. We all have desires we should resist in order to be faithful to God, but not all carnal desires are forbidden.  I have a driving desire for my husband. Convenient for me, right? What are people to do however, who have a burning desire for those of the same sex, or have any desire that is contrary to God's word. Well, let me explain it like this. In my life I have had deep desires to sin against God. I have desired to lie, to take revenge when I, or a loved one has been wronged. And yes, I had lustful desire for men before I was married and am purposeful to guard against it even now. This is certainly not an exhaustive list of my sinful desires. But what we need to understand is that just because we want to do something, I mean really REALLY want to do something, it does not equal it being ok. So just because my sinful desires are not the same as yours, it doesn't mean I don't understand. “He who would love life And see good days, Let him refrain his tongue from evil, And his lips from speaking deceit. Let him turn away from evil and do good; Let him seek peace and pursue it." 1 Peter 3:10-11. God's direction is not for our heartbreak or pain. All instruction is out of his great love for us.

Don't think that your desire for whatever is contrary to God is unique to you. We ALL struggle with our own sinful flesh. But we must trust that God's plan for us is better than our own plan. I am sorry that some church organizations have made sexual and gender sin seem unforgivable and more egregious than other sin. I understand that those who struggle with sexual sin have been made at times to feel unwelcome. Yes, God warns against corrupting the sexual relationship that He designed. "If a man lies with a male as he lies with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination." Leviticus 20:13a. It is however forgivable. And to those who feel superior to any who struggle with this sinful desire, there is this warning using the same adjective. "Everyone proud in heart is an abomination to the Lord; Though they join forces, none will go unpunished." Proverbs 16:5. In order to restore the beauty of the family God created we must be able to speak truth in love without condescension. In order to draw closer to Christ we must resist our fleshly desires regardless of what they are. "Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you."  James 4:7. That is a promise.

And one last thing.  Our culture has gotten love and sex all mixed up. We can have deep emotional connections with people of the same gender. God endorses and encourages these relationships. But that is very different from satisfying our sexual desires with someone of the same sex or even heterosexually outside of marriage. Love and sex are not interchangeable words but our culture uses them as if they were. Women and men are unique, made for distinct and beautiful reasons. Society would benefit from embracing the design of our bodies and celebrate the strengths of each. God's blueprint is beautiful. Forgiveness of all sin is available at the cross. Let's meet there and help others find the way.